i think our story will probably need more pages

waiting for you all these ages
falling for you in stages
touching all your bases
following all your traces

i think our story will definitely need more pages

meeting you in all those places
us passing through all those phases
this heart of mine races
as it braces

for our story that needs more pages

silence is grey
ashen
it clogs the air around me

silence is a stone in my mouth
cloven
hard-woven
that no one can see

silence is absence
unbeing
not there
empty
which I can’t heal
which I can’t feel

silence is
silence was
silence will be

.

The warm sun rays filter through the foliage, and the smoke whirling from the wood fires strike a path across them to create the most beautiful patterns. The wind itself is really chilly, think an AC set at 16, but the sun rays are warm to the touch.

Echoes of kids on their early morning football game bounces across from the next hill and the deep roaring note of the ever present Bagmati River highlights their high pitched giggles and shouts. They know something I don’t.

Dancing through both these sounds is the whispering conversations of the leaves and the wind. The branches nod sagely, agreeing with the wind’s message. The birds call each other in tweets and chirps and toohoos, relaying the wind’s far off news. The orchestra is heartbreakingly beautiful. They too know something I don’t.

Is this all for me? Or am I an accidental audience to this eternal song? This is something I do not know. And, maybe for the first time, my impure hunger to know stays sated. There is no need to find an answer, the answer isn’t necessary. This, finally, is something I know.

here’s a little something just for you
just for those days when rain is all that fills your head
just then, when a day can get so long
and hiding your face behind those hands
to shut out the wrong
can only last you for so long

here’s a little something just for you
just for those days when shoulders hunched
you trudge on, and the path seemingly goes on and on
and flying just because you won’t need to land
to not touch any of these bogs and quicksands
can only last you for so long

here’s a little something just for you
just for those nights when exhaustion follows you
even in the loneliness of the night
and a blessed sleep’s comfort and futile wishes
to dissolve all your cares and put them to the right
can only last you for so long

you didn’t come this far to only come this far

tonight i write these lines for you
remembering you, your touch and your tresses too
tonight i write these lines for you
the moon and the icy stars start shining on me anew

fingers across the keyboard pitter-pattering
mind racing
images, emotions, the ghosts of your presences that I’m tracing

tonight i write these lines for you
remembering us, as we were, within those precious moments few
tonight i write these lines for you
the cold breeze passing through the windows blue

the lines do not come as easy, as you can see
faded and jaded to the limit as I can be
heart braces, and feelings they crash in me

tonight these lines write themselves for you
remembering us, me and you, as it happened
inside those memories few

bones they crack open
and secrets spill out

drifting through this murky gloaming
dreaming about dying
lying
crying
hiding

see myself in a screen
wasting days, counting weeks
getting more familiar with how you speak
while you’re away from me

but i don’t want to say goodbye

because it’s safer when i’m by your side

i want to be near you
like i’m meant to

but hey i think it’s going to be alright
when we’re sleeping and i’m by your side

here i am, dressed for the sun
while the city sleeps
around me
blanketed in its cocoon of snow

step back
relax and grow
repair and rebuild the damage done

here i am again, dressed for the snow
while the city frolics
around me
hazy in the rays of a new sun

step back
relax and grow
repair and rebuild the damage done?

shall i tell the truth, so you don’t have to lie?