colors they change
so does the sky
and the roads that lead from me to you

you’re here and the sky is bright
the roads shiny
the colors deep
and the rainbow of your presence
bedazzles me
leaves me befuddled

you’re not here and the sky is dark
the roads cracked and dusty
the colors faded
the monsoon of your absence
forces monotony
leaves me bedraggled

colors they change
so does the sky
and the roads that lead from me to you

is it the same for you? is your mind full of things all the time?

thoughts. pictures.

shadows and darkness?

i’m here because everybody has to be somewhere

couldn’t really say just how i miss you
in rays of the evening sun
or under the quiet shower of a spring dawn

couldn’t really say how i miss you
i couldn’t really just say

couldn’t really say just how i love you
in the wind rippling through a quiet creek
or in the quiet copse of young trees

couldn’t really say how i love you
i couldn’t really just say

let the sun not shine today
the flowers not bloom
the song birds not sing

let the world not be indifferent today

to my wishes for raindrops and gloomy rays

the pitter-patter rain
surrounds the soft darkness
that envelops this room around me

the curtains swish to the rhythm
of the soft breeze
playing
hide and seek

and i

oh i

i think of you
as you were
in that soft glowing afternoon

the curtains shivering just like now
and the breeze playing hide and seek

this time

with you

you’re getting nearer
and
i’m……………………………………disappearing…

Father, I’m not going to school today.

Father, I’m not going to school today,
there they teach us history of days long dead.

And like the rusted parts of a machine
the mathematical formulas are really old
and I have no desire to live
among such pages of history.

For I need to live for future days,
overtaking history
becoming more than history.

Therefore father, I’m not going to school today,
there they teach us history of days long dead.

Much better than the framed ideals on the walls
are ideals that I can actually live for,
and much better I feel when I walk on the roads I built.
instead of walking on those built before me.

I need not the heavy cart of history
yoked to my neck,
instead my arms yearn for a hoe.

My feet need to scale mountains
and try and pay back
all I have loaned from Mother Earth.

Father, I’m not going to school today,
there they teach us history of days long dead.

empty highways and ghostly nights
the quiet roaring around me with all its might
the warm asphalt greets my body
as i lie down and watch the shattered, endless void scream above me

infinite shards of light puncture through the comforting velvet of black

what if…..

what if?

what if gravity would just turn off and i start falling endlessly?
what would it feel like to fall endlessly?
is that what dying would feel like?

after everything
i found that most things depended on
whether you wanted to look for help
or sit and wait to be rescued